What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
