I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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