omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
