put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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