dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
