Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i think im in europe. pls send help
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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