So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
