Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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