I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
