I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize