Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
