No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
