I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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