i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
