i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
