Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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