So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
