He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
