Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
