so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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