she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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