You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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