I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
