Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
