Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You are the jesus of drinking
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
