A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
