eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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