this beer tastes like vomit already
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize