is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
