Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize