He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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