If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
