Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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