I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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