oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
