I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
