i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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