mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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