Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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