Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
