when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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