The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
