y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
