It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
