She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize