He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
