boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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