boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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