dude i'm inner monologue high
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
