Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
