jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
