Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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