I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
