i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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