I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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