So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
