That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
