There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
