is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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